Battle-less

So, I didn't go to Battlemoor. And you know what? I'm pretty happy that I stayed home.


Instead, I have "quality time" with a sick child, and get to focus on fighting a couple of my own infections.

I get to sleep when I need to and work when I want to.

Homework that was due last week is getting done - spent 2 hours on my Ceramics assignment, which is to draw 4-6 cups, noting details. [1] So far, I have 4 done, all extant Medieval cups or mugs - so part of that time was basic research. Next are a couple of yunomi, Japanese tea cups.

There's been time to do some writing, like the early morning ramblings on the two-part open front hangerock - which of course required research.

The tall creativity-related booklist has seen some progress.

Looking at all the incomplete projects - the shirts, cotes, and gowns, the tents, the furniture that needs repair and re-building, the shoes and purses, I've developed a scheme for actually working on it. Without a sense of impending panic, or taking shortcuts because time's a-wasting.

The back porch and the kitchen have been reclaimed, fresh flowers planted and cleaning accomplished.

There's time to take Evan to the birthday party, and to color my hair, and clean my bathroom.
...........
In retrospect, I'm finding that the past couple of weeks haven't been very healthy for me. The high-level on-edge sort of stress, made worse by repeated and seemingly continual obstructions, left me very anxious and only able to focus part-way on anything. Work, making, starting school (both myself and Ev), Evan's accident, both of us being sick, excessive time spent on things like the car - and finally and paramount, finding out that much of what I expected to be in the storage unit, or machinery that I expected to work correctly, or clothing that I thought was in progress and wasn't... it all avalanched to an untenable point.

After a frantic couple of months, I have finally had some peace. I can spend time with people that I care about without feeling guilty or anxious; and most of all I can take care of myself. Once I let go of the self-imposed obligation, of the chaos due to being overwhelmed by the task at hand - which only accelerated as the event loomed and projects slipped out of control - I felt tons better.

So, what's next? I'm going to return things to the storage unit that don't need "fixing". I'm keeping the table legs here, so I can engineer sturdier table tops. I have a list of things that need to be purchased from Lowe's that weren't in the storage unit after all - poles for a sun fly, bolts for the tent's kingpole. The tents will stay here to be repaired and finished - once I get the functional belt on the Singer treadle. I can finish the two linen Herjolfsnes no.39 dresses that will work equally well for mid 14th century and Viking-era tunics. I'm going to finish Evan's burgundy wool Herjolfsnes cote, and then his 1400 houppelande for Twelfth Night, and get the hand-work completed on his shirts.

The goal? Well of course, to keep away the anxieties of preparing for events. I want to just pack, pick up and go from now on. I need to be more diligent about planning and working ahead. I want the only stress of CiT to be how to get it all (and us!) in the Odyssey. I haven't felt this way in a long time - if ever. Keeping on top of being prepared for events will allow me to maintain control over the other things that are important to me. And on making Medieval pottery.

[1] Okay, I'm probably a lot more "into" this than my classmates, but for me this class is more than three credits and $200. This is my skill-building in the Flow process, the beginning of my first really serious effort into justifying my existence as an artist. I suppose those years in high school and art (education) college work count, but I never really fulfilled the creative and never really *said* anything. Now the spirit is burning, and the cream of motivation has risen to the top. I see the end of my career in about 2 years, and the beginning of my Real Life.

It's like Sam's description of weight lifting: the biceps get ya the honeys; the triceps get ya the monies. The plan - if you've not heard, and who hasn't in my enthusiasm - is to first skill build in ceramics with a goal of producing historic pottery for the re-creation, re-enactment, and museum communities. That's the "monies". The "honeys" is the chance to really create, to be creative in producing the visions in my mind - and maybe those will sell in some chi-chi gallery.

The concept is that the best art can be monetized; that is to say that it earns hard cash. Although I don't thoroughly agree with this assessment, there is some truth to it. The best quality art is that which sells. Even art for art's sake needs to be that good.